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9. You might be a redneck if..
- On your job application under "SEX" you put "As often as possible".
- During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
- You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
- On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
- Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!".
- You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deerhunting.
- In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?".
- Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
- You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." or "Play Ball..."
- Your child's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers!".
- Your wife's best pair of shoes are steel-toed Red Wings.
- You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
- You bring your dog to work with you.
- You replace a flat tire on your truck with a tire from your house.
- You've ever put a six-pack in a casket right before they closed it
- Your family's No. 1 enemy is revenuers.
- Your belt buckle doubles as a serving platter.
- You use lava soap more than three times a day.
- You wear cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.
- You have a hook in your shower to hang your hat on.
- You buy your wife tube socks at the flea market.
- You consider orange peels left on the coffee table as potpourri.
- You grow flowers in an old commode in your front yard.
- You can't take a bath because beer is iced down in your tub.
- Your kitchen doubles as a bait store.
- You've ever picked up a woman in a convenience store.
- You throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it.
- You've ever fed your date french fries in a Denny's.
- Going to the laundromat means cleaning out the back of the truck.
- Your family reunion features a chewing tobacco spit-off.
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