7. You might be a redneck if..

1. Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator
   
2. If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes (if you have them) a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
   
3. When you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack," it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
   
4. You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift
   
5. You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
   
6. You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food. You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
   
7. You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
   
8. You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
   
9. You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
   
10. There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
    
11. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
    
12. You have 5 cars that are immobile and house that is!
    
13. You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end"
    
14. "Honey? Are the lights out? Is the door locked? Is the parking
    brake set?" is what you hear right before you and your wife/girl
    make love.
    
15. Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
    
16. You'd rather catch bass than get some (if you can't guess...)
    
17. You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertable top.
    
18. Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
    
19. You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
    
20. You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
    
21. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
    
22. You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
    
23. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
    
24. You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
    
25. There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
    
26. The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low Places'
    
27. It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
    
28. You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
    
29. You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
    
30. You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"