8. You might be a redneck if..

1. Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.
   
2. The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
   
3. Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house
   
4. The ASPCA raids yer kitchen
   
5. Ya have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so ya can get grandma a new plug of tobacco
   
6. Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle
   
7. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
   
8. Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
   
9. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
   
10. You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something!
    
11. When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.
    
12. Helping your cousin, Billy-Bob, move into his new place consists of the wheels off his doublewide
    
13. Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
    
14. You know you're a redneck if you wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
    
15. Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
    
16. "Buck Naked Line Dancing" isn't a videotape, it's "Ladies Night" at the local bar.
    
17. Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
    
18. You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
    
19. You're moved to tears everytime you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
    
20. You've ever parked a Camero in a tree.
    
21. Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
    
22. Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
    
23. The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (you insurance man is one too if he pays you for it).
    
24. You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.
    
25. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
    
26. You've ever hit a deer with your car..on purpose! "
    
27. You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
    
28. Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
    
29. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
    
30. Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.