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5. You might be a redneck if..
- You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
- You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
- The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin?"
- You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
- Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
- You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
- You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
- You've ever been too drunk to fish.
- You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
- You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
- You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
- You consider a family reunion a good place to pick up girls.
- You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
- Your richest relative invites you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels and skirt.
- You've ever financed a tattoo.
- Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
- You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.
- You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
- Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
- Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
- Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
- You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
- You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
- Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
- You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
- Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
- You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
- You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occassions.
- You have to scratch your sisters name out of the message: "for a good time call . .", because you feel guilty about putting it there...
- Redman sends you a Christmas card.
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