10. You might be a redneck if..

1. Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
   
2. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.
   
3. You stand under the mistletoe at christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
   
4. You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
   
5. The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
   
6. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
   
7. You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
   
8. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
   
9. Your favorite Christmas present, was a painting on black velvet.
   
10. You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
    
11. You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
    
12. You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'
    
13. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
    
14. You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occassions.
    
15. You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
    
16. You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
    
17. You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
    
18. You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
    
19. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
    
20. You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
    
21. The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low Places'
    
22. It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
    
23. You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
    
24. You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
    
25. Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.
    
26. Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle
    
27. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
    
28. Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
    
29. You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something!
    
30. You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.