You know you are too fat if ...

10. When you get to the bottom of a stairway, your tummy takes one more step.

9. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

8. You put mayonnaise on aspirin.

7. Your blood type is Ragu.

6. You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.

5. You ran away from home and they had to use all 4 sides of the milk carton for your picture.

4. You could sell shade.

3. Your driver's license says, 'Picture continued on other side.'

2. You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

1. You dance and it makes the band skip