Stuff You’d Never Hear Your Dad Say

Can anyone help me finish this beer?

Let’s check the Internet.

Could you turn on a few more lights before you leave the room?

I do not know how much a gallon of gas costs these days.

Let’s spend a couple hours catching up over the phone.

You know what’s awesome? Tiramisu!

It’s really worth it to pay extra for good jeans.

What is this “Fox News” I keep hearing about?

God, I miss Gilmore Girls.

I’ll text you