Your best shoes have numbers on the heels.
Your dog passes gas and you claim it.
You see a sign that says "Just Say No To Crack!" and it reminds you to pull up your jeans.
You've ever asked a widow for her telephone number at the funeral home.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You consider a six pack of Pabst and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.
Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
You think "six to ten pounds" on the side of the Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.
Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
You've ever "hit on" somebody in a V.D. clinic.
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